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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought filming a clip now and then would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?